Welcome to Philly

How is it, being back, so many people ask? Can one ever be back someplace? Places change, so do we. We might hold on tight to memories, even try and recreate their physical and emotional geography via the history that we remember, but as I found out in Boston recently and quite painfully, it is futile. In Boston tried to revisit a relationship that was obviously over, long ago. Instead, I should have revisited something that I wrote some months ago...

For me, the immediate response to both the end of the relationship and the terror attacks was fear. But over the months since then, I have learnt that instead of trying to impose myself on the circumstances, or on my surroundings, or on people, I need to acknowledge the fragility of everything and then surrender myself graciously to this fragility. I don’t mean surrender in a defeatist or fatalistic sort of way. Rather in an enabling, positive sense. Yes, life is short, situations are unexpected and people are unpredictable. Is loss really terrible? Is it really loss in the first place? I now believe that accepting and then enjoying situations for what they are, and people for who they are, is really important. One has to live and love graciously, gracefully and completely, with confidence, and without fear. I suppose this is what makes me tick these days. Living in the moment.

So. The only way to go is ahead. I have decided to do so with the Kylie/Akshay Chiggie Wiggie soundtrack playing on constant replay. :-) Hello Philadelphia. Despite the teething problems (moved out of my Philly apartment due to various issues, after staying one night. Now seeking other accomodation while stuff lies somewhere else), there is so much that is positive to appreciate. Such as the love and affection of friends - Aakash, Uttara, Sunny Kavita...my own actual family, including my cousin Karishma, and so many others, who've folded me into their families, and are propping me up and propelling me towards the giant big UPenn door, even while I squeal, looking behind towards a past that is literally and figuratively another landscape... Such as TED India which I will attend soon... Such as the new friends I am already making and will continue to make at Penn. The pleasures of intellectual stimulation at Annenberg. My brilliant professors and classmates who I will meet for the first time tomorrow. And this beautiful city, which I've started enjoying slowly, despite all the moving in tribulations, through trips to the Longwood gardens and the Barnes Foundation musuem (think of room after room filled, floor to ceiling with hundreds of Renoirs and Cezannes, with sprinkles of Van Gogh, Picasso and other impressionists)...